The power of love
by Demesa
Summary: Alexander Lightwood knew that coming out to his parents and the clave would not just be accepted without consequences. But he would never have expected it to go this far, his own parents turning against him in the worst way possible. Will Alec be able to survive this or will everything finally fall apart, including his relationship to Magnus? Will their love be strong enough?
1. Chapter 1

AN: Hey everyone this is my first Fanfiction ever and I'll hope you'll enjoy it. English is not my first language so please excuse the grammar and spelling mistakes that you'll definitely find in there. This story takes place a few days after Alec kissed Magnus in the hall of accords and is completely made up from there. Also, Valentine is not beaten yet and still on the loose. All characters belong to Cassandra Claire, I own nothing. So have fun!

By the way, reviews and any ideas of improvement are highly appreciated :)

 **Chapter 1**

How can this love be wrong?

 _There were a thousands directions this could have taken, and this isn't one._

 _Can't be one._

 _Alec is tripping over his own feet, his thoughts a mess because its over, his timer had been down to he last minutes and he still hadn't figured out how to escape this situation._

 _How to escape this nightmare._

 _His worst fear has come true._

 _Magnus, his one and only love, was going to suffer badly and all because of him._

 _There was no way he could possibly stop that._

 _His breath quickened as his emotions overcame him and he didn't even register the tears that have started to freely stream down his cheeks. His whole body jerked violently with uncontrolled sobs as he collapsed against the cold brick wall and slowly slid down to the floor. Alec could see the world in front of him getting blurry before everything went dark and he passed out._

 _Relieved, he welcomed the state of unconsciousness that would finally allow him to not feel the sharp pain of his aching heart anymore as well as his memories that are constantly haunting him._

 _Even if it was just for a while._

The morning sun is shining brightly through the curtains and covers the bedroom in a soft shade of red. Alec blinks a few times and lets his eyes adjust to the sudden brightness that has woken him up from a good night of sleep. His eyes automatically focusing on the man, sleeping peacefully next to him. His caramel colored skin seems to sparkle under the sunlight and Alec can't help himself but admire his boyfriends perfectly toned torso. As if sensing Alecs gaze, Magnus suddenly turns around and snuggles into the crook of Alecs neck, inhaling his sent. His defined abs now full on display, Alec can't resist the urge to touch this perfect man in front of him and absently starts to draw patterns on Magnus stomach, slowly following the firm muscles underneath smooth skin, his touch light as a feather. Soon he can hear Magnus mumble something under his breath and feel soft lips brushing against his neck. He instinctively bows down his head and is greeted with the sight of Magnus sleepily opening his golden cat-like eyes. Like every time when Magnus drops his glamour of human brown eyes to reveal his real ones that are marking him as a warlock, Alec can feel his heart miss a beat, getting lost completely in the depth of the sparkling gold. Contrary to what every one else seems to see, he just can't find anything demonic in them. It doesn't matter how hard he tries, for him, those eyes are simply beautiful.

Only Magnus low voice snaps him back into reality. "What are thinking about, darling?", he asks quietly, making Alecs skin tickle as he can feel Magnus breath against his neck.

"Oh nothing… I'm just thinking how beautiful you are." Alec sputters out without thinking and already regrets his honesty as he can feel the familiar red blush appearing on his cheeks. But Magnus eyes grow wide at the unexpected compliment and seconds later his lips are gently brushing against Alecs, making him forget every embarrassment he might have felt before.

"I could get used to waking up like this" Magnus whispers against his lips, just slightly pulling away.

"Yeah, me too.", answers Alec, already pulling Magnus back in for another kiss, both men smiling against each others lips. This time the kiss gets more heated and intense with every passing second and their lips colliding with more force each time. Magnus rolls over so that his body is now hovering over Alecs as he holds his weight on his elbows, palms flat out at either side of Alecs head. Their bodies are less than two inches apart and Alec can feel the heat radiating off of Magnus body, suddenly very aware that Magnus is still shirtless and only dressed in his silk underwear. With the sudden desire to be even closer to the man above him, Alec grabs Magnus hips and pulls him down so that Magnus weight is pressing flush against him, enveloping him in warmth. A satisfied moan escapes Alecs lips as their bare chest finally collide together. Feeling encouraged by this, Magnus nibbles at Alecs lower lip, asking for entrance that the shadowhunter gladly allows. His lips part and Magnus tongue enters his mouth, exploring every dark corner of it and every time their tongues brushes, Alec feels a shock running through his body. All thought left Alecs mind as he completely melted into the kiss.

There was nothing else in the world at that moment, only Magnus and Alec, kissing almost desperately.

As Magnus runs his hands along Alecs sides, he bows his back slightly, running his fingertips lazily along Magnus spine, making him shiver under his touch. They continued kissing passionately for a few minutes until they have to pull away reluctantly in order to regain their breaths again. However Magnus still doesn't remove his lips from Alecs skin, instead he starts kissing along the line of Alec jaw to his pulse point, sucking and nibbling slightly on it and making Alec moan in pleasure once again. His Hands finding its way in Magnus hair and slightly tugging on it. Pleased at Alecs move he murmured his approval against Alecs neck, causing another vibration that makes him tugging on Magnus hair even harder, earning a muffled moan from the older man above. Just as Magnus is about to continue his way down Alecs chest, outlining his parabatei rune with his tongue, a piercing sound fills the bedroom, making both men groan in disapproval.

"I swear that better be important or I'll kill someone." Magnus grumpily complains as he rolls down from Alec to reach his phone from the bedside table. Alec can't help but chuckle quietly at the warlocks obviously mood swing and earns a playful glare from Magnus who has now reached his phone.

"Who dares to disturb the high warlock of Brooklyn?!" he demands, his voice filled with faked annoyance, that once again makes the shadowhunter laugh quietly beside him. But as soon as he recognizes the voice at the other end of the line, his mood drops instantly. It's Izzy.

Since he had kissed Magnus in front of everyone in the Hall of Accords and therefore outed himself as gay he gave his best to avoid every contact to the institute, including his siblings. He doesn't even know why he is acting this way. Jace and Izzy knew that he was dating Magnus anyway, even encouraged him to do so. It's just the fact that they keep trying to get him to talk to his parents, which he just can't stand to do. He felt so happy and relived after he kissed Magnus and everything was finally out in the open, but as soon he looked into the shocked and even disgusted faces of his parents and other shadowhunters around him, he knew that he would never be accepted completely. Not even by his own parents.

And even tough he doesn't want to admit it, this realization just broke his heart.

That's why he was hiding his feelings and his relationship with Magnus in the first place. So he could pretend that everything was alright. That he would still have a future as a Shadowhunter. He knew that him being in love with another man, a warlock with that, would not be easily accepted without consequences by the clave and the shadowhunter society.

Being gay was seen as wrong, disgusting and overall sinful.

But Alec was determined not to let these outworn and homophobic agendas influence his relationship. He doesn't ever want to feel ashamed of his feelings again, even more ashamed for Magnus. This nearly ended their relationship when they started dating and Alec was still in the closet.

He can't do this to Magnus again. He can't loose him.

And he is just afraid that facing his parents, not even mentioning the clave, will bring back those feelings and will make him want to hide himself and his feelings again. Hiding his love for Magnus. That's why he has been staying at Magnus loft the last days, living in his own bubble of happiness.

But apparently it's time to step out and face the truth. Beginning with facing his parents.

The time Magnus started talking to Izzy, trying to explain to her that Alec doesn't want to go back to the institute, he recognizes Alecs body going tense, no evidence left of how relaxed he had been just a couple of seconds ago. He hardly resists the urge to just hang up the phone and kissing his shadowhunter all over again to see him smiling and chuckling again like he had before. He just wants Alec to be happy.

He can tell that the boy is no longer listening to him and Isabelle talking, too occupied with his own thoughts. Intertwining his fingers with Alecs' he tries to silently comfort his boyfriend and is surprised when Alec seems to focus again.

"Tell Izzy I'm going to come over to the institute today." he announces, his voice barely audible. Magnus just tightens his hold on Alecs' hand and nods before he quickly ends the phone call, leaving a confused Isabelle behind.

"Alexander…" Magnus starts, his voice filled with concern, "Are you sure about this? You don't have to…."

"Yes I do, Magnus." Alec interrupts his boyfriend, his voice more audible and strong this time "Shadowhunting is my life, you know that. And I just need to know if I still have a future in the New York institute. So I need to talk to parents at least. I can't avoid them forever. Even if I wanted to." Alec finishes quietly, avoiding Magnus pitiful gaze.

"You are an excellent fighter, brave and smart." Magnus gives him a reassurance smile, trying desperately to take away the boys fear of being rejected by the ones he loved. "They will come around eventually. Never underestimate a parents' love, darling." He finishes, praying to whoever is listening that he is right.

He knows from experience, that sometimes a Mothers or fathers love to their child is just not strong enough. That sometimes there is just no unconditional love.

Alecs relationship to his parents, especially to Robert, has always been tense, but Magnus still hoped the best for his shadowhunter because you could certainly tell that family meant everything to him.

And Magnus really doesn't want him to loose this.

Because of him.

Because he was in love with this adorable blue eyed man, who for a wonder, loved him back and told the world about it.

A sudden sorrow overcame Magnus as he started to wonder if all this trouble he had caused was worth it. If _he_ was worth Alec risking so much.

"Thank you Magnus." Alec's soft voice interrupting his dark thoughts "I love you". A wide smile immediately spread out over Magnus face, as he he gently reached out to caress Alec blushing cheeks. He still wasn't used to Alec's open love confessions.

"I love you too, Alexander" Magnus responds, locking his eyes with Alec's and resting his forehead against his. They stay like this a couple of minutes longer, just enjoying each others company. Alec is the first one breaking apart, taking a deep breath before untangling his fingers from Magnus' and standing up.

"I really should get going if I don't want to miss out on Mom and Dad. They are usually heading to Idris in the afternoon for Clave business" he sighs while putting on his black faded jeans.

When he turns around to grab his favourite sweater he notices Magnus staring at him, his eyes following every movement of Alec's body. With a sudden boost of confidence, he starts to stretch his limps, lifting his arms above his head, his fingertips touching. By then Magnus mouth is slightly open and his unglamoured eyes seem to be a few shades darker than they were before.

Only when Magnus sees an amused smirk appearing on Alec's face he snaps back into reality, finally able to free his eyes from the pale, rune covered skin of his boyfriends torso.

"You better stop teasing me darling." Magnus says with a mischievous grin, "or you might not be able to get this sexy body of yours out of this bedroom today." he finishes with a wink, leaving a furiously blushing Alec to put on his ratty black sweater.

Getting dressed with a snap of his finger himself, Magnus stands up watching Alec putting on his combat boots.

"Alec, do you want me to come with you to meet your parents?" he asks, not really looking forward to go to a place, he knows he is not welcomed in at all, but determined to support his boyfriend if he wants him to be there.

"No." Alec slowly shakes his head "I need to go there alone to do this by myself. Bringing you with me would just make things more complicated. I just don't think it would help the situation to show up at the institute, a place full with prejudiced clave members, with … with a-."

 _-With a downworlder_ ,

Magnus thinks to himself, but instead offers "with your magnificent warlock boyfriend?" in an attempt to lighten mood, ignoring the numb feeling spreading out in his chest at the thought of what Alec was just about to call him.

"Yes." Alec admits, noticing the hurt expression crossing Magnus face. "Magnus…" Alec starts pleadingly as he steps closer to Magnus, closing the distance between them.

"This is has nothing to do with my feelings for you, ok? I would love to have you by my side, but as I just said it would make things even worse. And not because I don't want to be seen with you or because I want to deny our relationship again, but because of the reactions of all these homophobic and racist people there that will definitely follow. I know how most of them they see the downworld or their feeling towards me liking a man and it's okay. It's okay when they let me know just how much of a disgrace they see in me and when they show me how much they detest me, but I can't stand there listening to them talking bad about you or our relationship and calling you…. names. I just can't loose myself at the institute and endanger everything that I have left there." He finishes, his last sentences nothing more than a whisper.

It barely ever happens that Alec talks so honestly about his feelings, but when does it's the purest thing Magnus has ever heard. He automatically feels bad for underestimating this good-natured soul in front of him that would to everything to protect the ones he loved.

And Magnus was one of them now.

Alec would never reduce him to just being a downworlder.

Looking into Alecs blue eyes that are begging him to understand, he takes Alecs face in his, the shadowhunter leaning slightly into the touch and kisses him gently on his forehead.

"Oh Alexander." Magnus whispers against Alec's smooth skin, before gently lifting his head forcing him too look into his eyes.

"You are so much more than you think of yourself. You are perfect, -"

"No you are not gonna make me flush again, Magnus!" Alec playfully protest, visibly relaxing.

"Hm but I really do love that beautiful blush of yours..." Magnus complains, his hands sliding down to get hold of Alecs upper arms.

"Just promise me not to believe a word of what these bigoted shadowhunter are saying, alright? I know they can be cruel, even to their own kind…" Magnus drifts off, once again being reminded of a young shadowhunter he met centuries ago.

After all this time he still can hear the boys muffled screams, sounding like the screams of a soul in hell or a soul being ripped apart from heaven _._ And that's exactly what had happened. This was the claves punishment for disobeying their rules.

That's what happened to Edmund Herondale.

He got disowned and stripped off his marks, simply for being in love with the wrong person. For loving a mundane.

Yes, Magnus is aware that the time has changed and being gay nowadays isn't against the law, but that doesn't stop him from worrying about Alec. He experienced first hand to what some clave members are capable of.

Before Alec gets to question his statement, Magnus continues speaking.

"Call me if things are getting bad, will you? Just one call Alexander and I'll open a portal for you to get back."

"I promise." Alec says, looking in the warlocks concerned eyes.

"And I will call as soon as I want to leave the institute" he continues, kissing his now smiling boyfriend goodbye.

"And Magnus..." he turns around, one hand already placed on the doorknob "Thank you."

With this the shadowhunter leaves the apartment, hurrying down the stairs to the front door before he has an another chance to think about were he is going and get a chance to chicken out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

As soon as he steps outside, he is greeted with a typical cold day in November, the wind blowing through Alec's hair, making him shiver.

There is nothing left of the inner peace he felt just minutes before at Magnus' apartment. His mind at ease, he falls into a light run, attempting to clear his mind.

Passing all the familiar buildings on his way to the institute he can't help but let his mind wander back to the last time he saw his parents:

Wide eyed with their hands on their mouth's staring at Alec kissing Magnus in pure shock. He doesn't think he will ever be able to forget these looks on their faces.

Full of disappointment, anger and disgust.

A sudden wave of panic overcomes Alec as he slows down and leans against the next wall, looking for support.

All his life Alec has done everything to make his parents proud.

To please them.

And now he is fairly positive that they are not pleased at all.

To be honest, he is afraid to confront his parents, afraid of what they might say to him. He is more than aware about their conservative attitude towards life and that he is no more fitting in it. So he can't stop wondering if _he_ is still fitting in their life's.

Taking a deep breath Alec tries to calm himself down.

 _You are a shadowhunter'_ he tries to reassures himself _'You are fighting demons on a daily basis_ , _without a hint of fear_. _You can't freak out just because you are seeing your parents! Pull yourself together Alec!'_ he tells himself before continuing his way down the street.

There is no one who could possibly answer his questions, other than his parents, anyway.

The time Alec can make out the institutes silhouette in the distance, he stops again, seeing easily through the glamour that is hiding it from the mundane eyes.

That's the place he spent all his live in, the place he grew up at.

That's the place that is supposed to be his home.

But as long as he can remember, it never felt like this to him.

Because what makes a house- or an apartment, a condo, a cabin or even a yurt – a home? First of all, there are the people you share it with. Of course there are Jace and Izzy, his siblings who know Alec better than anyone. But the institute is constantly crowded with fellow shadowhunters. With strangers, Alec was hiding from, too afraid someone might discover his secret he's been trying so hard to keep in the dark.

A home is a place you can feel comfortable and safe in, an environment where you can be free and be yourself, where you weather all of life's little storm - and revel in the sunshine. Nothing Alec has ever felt at the institute.

For Alec, the institute was just a building, a house providing shelter.

This realization hit him harder than he thought it would, because with it there came something else he realised. The place he just described and thought of as a home, was nothing other than Magnus apartment.

As soon as he closes the door to Magnus flat he can feel his wards going down and feel himself relax. From the beginning on he never felt the need to pretend to be someone he was not, not like it was the case at the institute.

With this in mind he walked straight to the heavy wooden doors, pushes them open and steps inside the huge entry hall. Several groups of Shadowhunters, recognizing the Lightwood son immediately, start to stare and whisper, glancing over to Alec.

Summoning all the confidence he has left, he straightens himself up and crosses the hall with large steps, nearly bumping into Izzy.

"Alec!" she squeals while wrapping her arms around her taller brother .

"How are you? And how is Magnus? I wasn't sure you'd show." she bombards him with questions, smiling widely.

"We are fine, Izzy." Alec answers, smiling brightly himself. He really missed his sister, even if it just been a few days since he last saw her.

"Where are mom and dad? I want to get over with this as soon as possible" Alec says, glancing to the shadowhunters, who are still putting their heads together, whispering quietly.

"They are in the library, waiting for you. I told them you'd come over today." Isabelle answers, a pitiful look crossing her face

"I'm proud of you big brother. No matter what they say." She adds, hugging him one more time before she leaves him alone.

"And don't dare to leave without dropping in on Jace and me!" she yells over her shoulder before disappearing around a corner.

Slightly laughing to himself Alec makes his way over the library ' _seeing Izzy always does wonder to his mood'_ he thinks as reaches the hallway leading to the library.

Unwillingly his steps are getting slower and slower the closer he gets to his destination. Finally reaching the door, he can hear his parents muffled voices inside. At this moment he wants nothing more than to turn around and run back to Magnus place.

He just stands there trying to get the courage to knock at the door, letting his parents know he was there, but every time he lifts his fist he backs off, letting his arm fall to his side again.

Suddenly he can hear high heels clicking on the hardwood floor, coming closer to the door and Alec instantaneous freezes. The last thing he wants is his mother opening the door and bumping into him.

Fortunately, the footsteps are stopping and the door remains shut. Alec is just about to relax again when he can hear his mother's clear voice, now that he is standing so close to him.

"Robert, we need to think this through to handle it in a mature way without damaging our family's reputation even more! This – this _thing_ is not going to last anyway."

"How can you be sure about this? It needs to stop. Now!" Roberts harsh voice fills the room, even loud enough to be heard from Alec who is still standing in his position in front of the door, frozen in shock.

"And it will. This is Magnus Bane we are talking about, a downworlder. His reputation proceeds him. We just need to be patient." Maryse answers calmly with so much confidence in her voice, that Alec instinctively steps away, not being able able to hear Roberts response anymore.

So that's what everyone thought of his relationship with Magnus – if you could even call it like this. Apparently, to his mother it was just a _thing,_ Alec thought bitterly as a hollow feeling started to spread out in his chest.

"Alec, why are still in the hallway? What's going on?" came his sisters alarmed voice from behind, making him jump.

Not being able to look her in the eyes, he presses his forehead against the door and sighs

"I'm fine Izzy". Isabelle's hand gently falls on Alec's shoulder as she steps behind him.

"Come on Alec, stop staying things that aren't true." Alec looked at her, Izzy was right.

He needed to talk about the truth, but not to her. He moved away to dislodge her hand and knocked his knuckles against the library door, not waiting for someone to open it, before entering the room.

His father was seated in the big chair right behind the office desk, his mother still standing close to the door.

"Alec." Maryse is greeting Alec, her voice hoarse at her son's sudden appearance. Alec's eyes wander to Robert, meeting cold and hard eyes, clearly not saying any words of greeting. Maryse starts walking towards her son, but Alec steps back, almost bumping into Izzy, still standing in the doorframe. He just lifts his hand, signalling his mother to stop. Unfazed the older woman turns around, walking back to her husband.

"Would you close the door, Alec." her voice leaving no doubt, that this actually wasn't a question.

"And Isabelle, am I right in the assumption that you should actually be in the training room right now?" a disapproving expression crossing her face, leaving Alec to step protectively in front of his sister.

"This is not about her mother." Alec says, but closing the door behind him anyway, gently shoving his sister out of the room.

"No you're right. This is about you and that – that _warlock"_ She replies, saying the last word as if it was an insult.

"He has a name." Alec snaps involuntarily , clenching his fingers into fists.

"I don't care about his name. You will stop whatever it is you're doing with that downworlder! "Robert yells, jumping off his chair.

But Alec just shakes his head, avoiding his father's furious eyes.

"I – I can't. I've always done everything you've ever wanted, without complaining. But you can't ask me to do this." His quiet but strong voice fills the room as he is wrapping his arms around himself protectively. This is the first time he is standing up against his own parents, not quite sure what kind of reaction this might cause.

By the time Alec finished his sentence, Robert is already half way through the room, heading towards his son, when a slender arm stops him.

" Why not?" Maryse asks him, looking into his eyes and for a short moment Alec thought he saw understanding flashing in her eyes. This small spark of hope was all he needed to speak his next words aloud:

"Because I love him."

In an instant the room fell terribly silent.

The next audible sound were Roberts heavy footsteps, rushing forward and slamming his son into the wall, his hands grabbing Alec's shirt.

"TAKE IT BACK!" he shouted, his face red with anger.

"My son is not in love with a man! A downworlder! A filthy, disgusting half-breed!" The older men fingers digging painfully in Alec's shoulders.

"He – he is not like this" he stutters, unshed tears shining in his eyes. Seeking for help he turns to look at his mother, just to witness her grabbing her stele to draw an all too familiar rune at the inside of the library door. A silence rune, Alec recognises directly, his eyes widen in pure terror.

"M-Mom, dad? Please... ", he whimpers, his just found confidence nowhere to be found.

"You are not my son." Robert simply states, before releasing his grip from the younger Lightwoods shirt and colliding his fist with Alec's face instead.

The boy's hands wandering to the place his own father had just hit him.

He felt a sickening pain.

Alec wasn't sure if Roberts words or actions hurt the most, but he new he'd much rather fight Valentine right now than his own father. By the angel, he would have killed Valentine before his father had even laid a hand on him but this was different. He couldn't do anything against him.

So instead, Alec just stood there, frozen in place.

" _Why?"_ he whispers, wiping away some blood from his mouth, he hadn't realised was there.

"He's a _Downworlder!_ Alec don't you see. He's a demon in disguise!" Maryse abruptly shouts, before visibly calming herself down.

"Alexander you need to understand this. This is the best for you.", she says, nodding towards her husband.

Before Alec even gets a chance to fully comprehend his situation, Robert punches him again, his face filled with hatred. Alec went limb as soon as his father's fist once again collides with his face.

' _Just let it wash over you'_ Alec thought. And that was exactly what he did, while his father continued to hit him over and over again.

First, his father's fist him in the face, his underlip split

Thena sting, just above his left eye, making him flinch back before Robert raises his foot once again, placing it-

Once againin his stomach.

"I'ts disgusting! It's wrong!" Alec could make out his father's voice in the distant, his own blood rushing through his veins, making it hard for him to understand.

He felt dizzy.

"Robert, that's enough" Maryse ordered, laying her hand on the man's shoulder. He stepped back and Alec realised that he was no longer staying, but instead laying on the ground. Even though he couldn't remember falling.

"You are not my son anymore", Robert repeats before Maryse takes over the lead, calmly explaining what's going to happen next.

"From now on you will convince everyone that you are no longer seeing that warlock until you understand that you really have no other choice than to do exactly this. Otherwise we will definitely get creative to get rid of that downworlder, in one way or another.

You will spend your nights at the institute again, being here more often in general.

You will never mention that demon again.

You will participate at every clave meeting you are requested at and pretend to be an exemplary shadowhunter.

Not that you would ever manage to be one.

And you will not tell anybody about this, you will act as if we have talked everything through and came to terms. You are going to do everything that we ask for.

Now leave!" She finishes with an alarmingly calm voice. Alec looked up at his mother in disbelief, but she wouldn't look him in the eyes, avoiding his gaze.

"She said GO! Don't make me say it again!" Robert yelled furiously, taking a threatening step closer toward his son, who was still laying on the floor, his body covered in his own blood. Even tough Alecs whole body protested in pain, he jumps up, desperate to get some distance between himself and his parents.

His eyes were stinging. He blinked, but he couldn't see, there was a thick veil across his vision.

His throat hurt as he took a deep breath. He stumbled blindwards towards the next door, pushing it open and hoping that no one was inside. Relieved he shuts the door behind him, instantly slumping to the floor. Giving a wince of pain as his abused body hits the ground, he finally breaks down, burying his head in his hands.

There was no denying anymore:

His own parents hated him, with all their heart, no longer considering him as a part of their family. If beating him up hadn't proved that enough than threatening the man he loved more than himself, certainly had.

Alec just sits there as the time passes by, barely noticing the tears that have started to run down his cheeks. He knew facing his parents wouldn't go well, he just didn't know how far they would go.

A sharp pain is flashing through his body and is getting worse with every breath he takes. By now Alec is rather sure that at least one of his ribs is broken. He closes his eyes, trying to focus on the physical pain instead of the pain of his aching heart. He is a shadowhunter, a soldier and if there is one thing he is certainly good at, then it is dealing with physical pain. Alec grabs his stele, utterly thankful that he has thought about bringing it in the first place. Groaning quietly he shifts his body so that he is now leaning against the doorframe.

With his vision clear again, he realises that he is in one of the Institutes empty guestrooms. He carefully lifts up his shirt, grimacing at the sight that is offered to him underneath the fabric.

 _Yeah, his ribs are definitely broken_.

Steadying his grip, Alec brings his stele down to draw an iratze on his violated skin, immediately releasing some of the pain. It doesn't take long for Alec to take care of all his injuries, his skilled hand allowing him to work quickly. Once he is finished he lets his head falling back and sighs in relief, as the pain is slowly easing, leaving Alec's tense body.

He still can't believe what had happened today.

His own father has beaten the crap out of him, just because of the way Alec felt.

Just because of who he loved.

His father that is supposed to love him unconditionally.

He suddenly is reminded of what Magnus had said earlier that day, about shadowhunters being cruel even to their own kind. Alec lets out a desperate laugh.

' _Oh, how right he was'_ he thinks and can't help but wonder if Magnus had expected something like this to happen.

Thinking of Magnus, a sudden yearning for the man overcomes Alec. He wants him so desperately. He wants to curl up in his arms, comforting him without words and making him feel better instantly. Only Magnus can make him feel this way. He is the only one who has such a strong effect on him. How can his parent's not see that? How can't they see how happy this wonderful man makes him?

Alec shakes his head and bans all thoughts about his parents in the back of his mind, letting his eyes wander through the room, stopping at the window above the small wooden desk. Dusk has already broken down, turning the sky to a light, dusky purple.

Alec hasn't been aware how long he has locked himself up in the tiny guestroom. He sighs, Isabelle is most likely freaking out by now Alec figures and with a pang of guilt realises that Magnus as well must be worried sick. He hasn't spoken to him since he left this morning.

Alec hastily fumbles his phone out of his pocket, turning on the screen. As expected there are several missed calls and text messages from Izzy and even Jace, but most of the time it's Magnus name that shows up, asking him if he was okay, begging him to call.

Alec immediately presses the call button, not having to wait for long until Magnus picks up, his voice filled with unhidden concern.

"Alec? Are you okay? I didn't hear anything from you, I was worried."

"Yeah I'm fine" Alec's voice sounding weak, even to his own ears "I'm sorry didn't call. I- I misplaced my phone" he bluntly lies, pulling his knees up to his chest.

This really wasn't well- thought- out.

"Alexander" Magnus says, his voice so gentle, so full of love, it makes Alec focusing on this sound as if his life would depend on it.

"What happened?". The boy takes a deep breath before answering, forcing his voice to be more steady this time.

"I'm good Magnus, honestly. Well, as expected my parents weren't really _happy_ about - _us_ , but we – we came to terms." Alec repeats his parents exact words from before, his voice breaking as he tries to ignore the flashbacks popping up in his mind. There was a way too long pause before Alec forces himself to continue.

"I'm just going to stay at the institute tonight to - to spend some time with Izzy and Jace.", he says, already feeling guilty for lying to Magnus again when there is nothing he wants more than to go back to his place.

"You do know that you are more than welcome at my place, right?", Magnus asks, obviously not believing his boyfriend. A heavy silence is spreading out between the two of them, no response coming from Alec.

"Alexander… Talk to me.", Magnus begs, his voice still soft, but this time also filled with a hint of desperation.

"Please, don't push me away."

And if Magnus would have been able to see Alec at this moment, he would have witnessed him fighting out his inner battle.

The very battle Alec has been fighting all his life.

It was a fight between giving in to his personal needs, to give in to his emotions and feelings or living up to his duties, his expectations and orders to protect himself and the ones he loved, repressing his own desires.

Because Love, Alec has learnt to know, was a powerful thing. It takes over your heart, clouding your judgement and your mind, turning you into a powerful witness to your own desires. He couldn't let this happen. He couldn't let Magnus get hurt. So he made his decision, a decision Alec has already made too often.

"Look, Magnus. I'm sorry. I really am, but I need to go now. I'll call you." With this Alec quickly ends the call, a single tear escaping his eyes, rolling down his cheek.

And if Alec would have been able to see Magnus now, he would have been able to see the warlock, sliding down to his leather couch, desperately starring at the phone in his hands, wishing for his shadowhunter to be there, wishing for Alec to let him in.

Not allowing himself to drown in self-pity, Alec stands up and decides it's time to find his siblings, letting him know that he fine. Just as he turns around to open the door, he catches his reflection in the window and stops, looking down at himself.

His bruises and broken ribs might be gone, but his clothes and parts of his skin are still covered in his own blood, dark and dried up by now.

He needs to get to his room, shower and putting on new clothes.

His room is just in the next hallway, so Alec prays that he is lucky enough not run into Jace or Izzy on his way, because his appearance would definitely be hard to explain. Peeking into the hallway, Alec leaves the guestroom, striding away with quick steps.

Only when his own room coming in sight he slows down, pushing the door open with his palm and enters a room, identical to the guestroom he just left.

Alec was never one for personal belonging or unnecessary gadgets, which you could clearly see in his room. A small bed, closet and desk was all he had. The white walls not decorated with photos or pictures, just spare weapons leaning against them.

The only thing, meaningful for Alec in this room was a photo placed on his nightstand showing Jace, Izzy and Max, joking around and laughing. And recently this photo was complemented with another picture, clipped at the back of the frame, so no one would be able to see it.

But Alec knew it was there.

It showed a close up photograph of a smiling man with spikey hair, his Asian eyes outlined with glittery, black eye shadow, who seems to be unaware of the camera.

Closing the door behind him, Alec heads straight to bathroom and strips off his dirty clothes, throwing them into the bin. He steps into the shower, not bothering to check the temperature and lets the hot water wash away the blood, disappearing in the drain.

By the time the water, that is running down Alec's body is clear again, his skin is completely red, not that Alec would realise.

He turns off the shower, steps out, a towel wrapped around his waist and heads to the closet. As he opens it, he is reminded that the majority of his clothes are at Magnus apartment due to the fact that he was spending more and more time there than at the institute.

Considering that Alec didn't own a huge variety of clothes, there wasn't much left in the closet.

However, Alec was able to find an old jeans and a grey jumper, that was just a tiny bit too small.

Suddenly the door burst open, leaving Alec to jump in surprise.

"Alec!", an angry looking Isabelle exclaims, stepping into the bedroom.

"Where have you been?! I was looking for you, but you were nowhere to be found. Not even Magnus could have gotten a hold of you. If he wouldn't have called me, I'd be still searching you!". Alec looked startled for a moment.

"He called you?" he sputtered out, before correcting himself.

"Doesn't matter. I'm sorry Izzy, I just – needed some time for myself. I should have told you."

Izzy's anger dissipated instantly, taking in her brother's appearance. He looked exhausted, his eyes reddened as if he had been crying. She steps further into the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Yes he did. He was just as worried as I was and wanted to calm me down. He sounded… sad.", she admits quietly, seeing a terribly hurt expression crossing her brother features. "Alec, what did mom and dad do?" she asks, a sudden uneasiness appearing in her chest. Alec closes his eyes, trying to regain some control before sitting down next to his sister.

"Nothing. We just talked and unsurprisingly they are having a hard time to accept my feelings for Magnus." he explains and tries to smile at his sister, failing miserably.

"But we talked everything through and came to terms." He repeats his mother's words once again.

"Well, that sounds exactly like something mom would say." Izzy states sceptical.

"What are you hiding from me?".

At this Alec stands up and starts pacing around the small room.

"Izzy, I know you are worried about me, but as you can see I'm fine. So just let it go. At least for now. It's been a really long day and I just want to go to bed."

He just can't tell Izzy, what Robert did to him. Robert and Maryse have never been the overly parental type, showering their kids with love, but he knew that Izzy loved them nonetheless and Alec doesn't want to destroy this. As long as their parent's were not hurting her, he saw no reason to tell Izzy about it. It would just unnecessarily troubling her.

"Alright, but this conversation is not over yet." She says, lifting her hands in defeat.

"So let's talk about Magnus instead. What's going on there? Did you two had a fight or why aren't you going back to his place?"

Alec sighs again, this conversation was getting worse with every second.

"Izzy, I'm really tired." He says desperately, trying to hold back his tears.

"Ok, Alec, I get that you don't want to talk about it, but just let me say this. You obviously care about Magnus and he cares about you and it's _okay._ Please, just don't mess up what you have with him, because of our parent's outworn perception.", she says, kissing Alec slightly against his cheeks.

"I know he makes you happy, even if you don't want to admit it."

At this, Alec just look at his sister dumbfounded.

"It's not that easy." Alec counters.

"I know." Izzy takes Alec's hand into hers'.

"Love never is." She says, leaving Alec's bedroom to give him some space.

As soon as the door shuts behind Izzy, Alec curls up on his bed, thinking about Magnus. He never used the word 'love' in front of his sister to describe his feelings for Magnus, but Izzy seems to know nonetheless.

He really loved the glittery warlock, there was no denying, but was this love really worth risking so much? Even risking Magnus wellbeing?

Alec shakes his head, trying to get rid of his thoughts about this beautiful, unique warlock. Slowly he lifts his arm, taking the framed picture of his siblings from the nightstand.

But instead of looking at the three smiling faces, he turns the picture around, revealing the second photo, attached to the frame. Alec carefully parts it from the frame, returning the picture of Jace, Izzy and Max to his nightstand again. With his right hand, he presses the photo against his heart, ignoring the feeling of his tightening chest.

He got so used to falling asleep next to Magnus, curled up in his arms, that he now was really struggling to fall asleep without him. He missed Magnus almost physically. The way his body was pressed perfectly against his own and his arms holding him tight as never wanting to let go of Alec.

He curled up on his bed even further, letting the tears finally escape his eyes.

By now, Alec couldn't even bring himself to care about it. He really had hurt Magnus, he knew that. But what was he supposed to do? To tell him the truth? That his own parents were threating him if he continued his relationship with him? And that Alec would sacrifice everything, just to make sure that this man was safe, his own happiness included?

Looking at the Picture of Magnus smiling, Alec was finally able to fall asleep hugging his spare pillow like a three-year-old.

But on the other hand Magnus wasn't really in a better place. Compared to Alec he simply decided to drown his sorrow in alcohol. And his plan rather was successful until he accidentally found one of Alec's outworn sweaters, by accident of course.

Since then, everything seemed to spiral down downstairs.

It didn't matter what Magnus was doing. Everything reminded him of his adorable Nephilim, that currently was at the other side of the city, successfully avoiding him.

He just wanted to see him to make sure he was okay. He sounded so sad on the phone that Magnus couldn't stop worrying.

The apartment suddenly felt empty without Alec in it.

Magnus deeply sighed, before taking another sip of the brown liquor that was burning down his throat.

A few hours later he finally collapsed on the couch not bearing to stand his empty bed at the moment. His thoughts wandering back to Alec, to the boy he fell in love with so quickly. Magnus sadly closed his eyes, falling backward on his soft, silk pillows, closing his eyes and pretending that Alec was there, snuggling in to him, until he fell asleep dreaming of his little shadowhunter.


End file.
